that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
