Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
