he puts the penis in happiness.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
she smelled like a LAN party
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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