There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
