yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
