i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
