it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
