I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
My ass is underappreciated
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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