i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
this is an emotional support booty call
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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