I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
