Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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