I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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