She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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