it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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