I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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