She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Did I show you my penis last night?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
