I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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