you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
the liver wants what the liver wants
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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