I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
