He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
