Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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