: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
