it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
