I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
