the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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