Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
