I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
