Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
you had me at cake vodka
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
