i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
