you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
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not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
It's blow job season.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
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just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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