she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
