look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
