i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
