am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
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