Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
