8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I think I won the penis lottery.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
