suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize