I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
