we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
