Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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