I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
