Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
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He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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