Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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