I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize