Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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