I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
