I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
