do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Randomize
