Porn is love you can see.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Hippo gnu deer
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
