He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
