And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
