What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
