i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Randomize
