We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize