have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
BRING THE BAGELS
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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