If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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