You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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