I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
