Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
ugly people sure do ruin things
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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