Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
