In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
We're too hungover to prance.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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