dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
