Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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