oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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