haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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