kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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