Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
