Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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