You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
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